Life Is A Drag

  Submitted for your inspection
  The evolutionary erection
  Of primitive man
  But before we explore the question of his sense of style
  We must point out his predilection
  To cover his glands

  Brothers, we've been led to believe
  That between Adam and Eve
  There was nothing to hide
  Were it not for Eve's primal haste
  Or a leaf strategically placed
  Who knows what she'd decide
  Eve and some guy named Clyde

  That's why life is a drag
  Life is just a pose in a rag
  You can play the part of
  Pusher or pastor
  Of harlot or hag
  Life is just a dressing game
  Life is a drag

  The argument can be rendered
  All bodies are forcibly gendered
  By how they are wrapped
  And though popular opinion holds this
  Makes us civilized
  So much deference is attended
  By what's in one's lap

  History proves that
  Who wears the pants is as much a mere circumstance
  As a matter of time
  Ultimately, why should we care
  Where one buys one's lace underwear
  If one is so inclined
  Show me yours, I'll show mine

  That's why life is a drag
  Fashion is a long running gag
  We can deck you out in sequins or spandex
  A mohawk or shag
  Who remembers unisex?
  Life is a drag
  It's a drag
  What a drag

  You can be a stag in a bag
  They won't know until you're stiff
  On a slab and they look at the tag
  What you see is what you get
  Life is a drag

  Let's just say
  We hereby conspire
  That a change of attire
  Is all part of the plan

  Something that was so long suppressed
  Starts to show when you wear a dress
  And if clothes make the man
  They can unmake the man

  That's why life is a drag
  Life is just a pose in a rag
  You can play the part of
  Pusher or pastor
  Of harlot or hag
  Life is just a dressing game
  Life is a drag
  It's a drag
  What a drag

  Fashion is a long running gag

  Aren't you glad they found a way to look hip
  When your butt starts to sag

  Praise the Lord, designer jeans
  What you see is what you get
  Who remembers unisex
  And who are you calling fag
  Life is a drag